Navigating challenging work conversations with grace and empathic communication

One phrase we hear a lot in our communication skills courses is ‘I don’t like confrontation.’ Does that sound familiar to you? When healthcare professionals raise this with us, it is often because they are grappling with a challenging situation at work, with a colleague.

For example, it might be a consultant quietly but assertively, confessing their displeasure about how their clinics are being run. It might be a member of staff who is not performing their role effectively and efficiently. For whatever the reason, we observe the emotional impact these situations have on healthcare professionals, and it is a sad watch.

In such circumstances, it is easy for us to judge the other person, solely on their behaviour and how it impacts on us. However, to change the status quo we need to consider their motivations and circumstances. We also need to initiate a conversation.

Here is a basic outline of a strategy you can consider:

1. Empathise: Put yourself in the other persons shoes and consider what might be driving their behaviour.
2. Prepare to have a conversation with this person: Choose a neutral location and time to discuss the issue. Acknowledge their willingness to meet and thank them.
3. Clearly outline the problem: Put your emotion to one side and write down the key facts you need to discuss. Be descriptive and avoid personal attacks. For example, ‘When you express your frustration to me about how the clinic is organised in the corridor, the impact on me and the team is, <outline>, and this leaves me/us feeling……..
4. Pause and gather information: Let them absorb this information and encourage them to share their perspective. Ask an open question like, ‘I wonder what this is like for you?’
5. Actively listen: pick up on cues, summarise what you have heard them say. Reflect on their responses, offering empathy and acknowledgment where appropriate. For example, ‘I can see that you have a lot of pressure on your shoulders.’
6. Negotiate a solution: Work together to find a mutually agreeable way forward.

When our course participants have the opportunity to practice these conversations in a safe and supportive environment, you can see the burden of the situation dropping from their shoulders. Read one such example here. By adopting this approach, you can navigate challenging situations with colleagues in a non-confrontational manner, and constructively foster a more positive work environment.